Small Town Pride - with Liz Kovarsky

We’re wrapping up our four-part June Pride series this week with a short and sweet episode as we close out the month’s festivities and celebration.

We’re joined by Liz Kovarsky, Director of the Working Communities Challenge Initiative with the Midcoast Youth Center. She discusses her efforts in organizing the first annual Pride celebration in the bucolic shipbuilding town Bath, Maine. From ideation to reality - it’s a heartwarming story of community collaboration, engagement, and support.

Two Piers Pride 2023 - Part II

We're back for part-two of our two-part episode about Pride. Two Piers Advisory Board members Gene Valentin and Jason Gray rejoin us to discuss Pride in terms of intersectionality, identity, labels, and “cancel culture.” We also touch on some recent developments that have occurred in between recording part-one and part-two.

This is a two-part episode as part of our Pride Series this month. If you didn’t catch part-one, you can find it here.

Two Piers Pride 2023 - Part I

We're joined by two of our Advisory Board members: Gene Valentin and Jason Gray, who share their lived experiences and insights regarding Pride: what it means to them, where Pride has lost its shine, and how individuals and companies can be more effective allies. This is a fairly unusual episode for us. It's more of a panel discussion than an interview, and it's pretty raw and unfiltered.

This is a two-part episode as part of our Pride Series this month, so stay tuned for part-two next week!

A Conversation with Dr. Steve Yacovelli - The Gay Leadership Dude

We're kicking off our June 2023 Pride series with Dr. Steve Yacovelli, aka The Gay Leadership Dude. Steve is an expert in diversity and inclusion, change management, and leadership both in and outside of the workplace whose not-so-hidden agenda is to make the world a bit more inclusive for us all.

He’s worked internally for folks like The Walt Disney Company, IBM, Tupperware Brands, and several universities before starting his own consulting firm, TopDog Learning Group in 2008.

In this episode, Steve talks about ways that leaders, (and by leaders, he means all of us), can be more inclusive, and he explores the benefits of inclusion and the costs of organizations not getting it right. Steve also shares an actionable framework for tackling silent collusion. 

Asian Heritage Month with Scientist Noushin Mir, Ph.D.

In this bonus episode to close out Asian Heritage Month, we're joined by Senior Scientist, Noushin Mir, Ph.D., who discusses her personal and professional journey with us and shares her insights and experiences along the way.

Noushin's story begins in Iran where she was an Associate Professor of Chemistry, and continues in the US where she now works in the private sector and continues to publish research. In this episode, we delve into the world of identity and authenticity, and what happens when our options for living authentically are narrowed. Noushin shares with us the internal and external challenges she faced both before and after moving to the US and her vision for a society in which individuals can express themselves authentically and feel included in their community. She discusses her Persian heritage and common misconceptions about what is included in the term "Asian." We also explore how workplace groups such as BRGs/ERGs can be effective.

Thank you to Noushin for sharing her deeply personal story with openness, candor, and authenticity.

The Compassion Code with Laura Jack

Leadership coach Laura Jack joins us to discuss compassionate communication and how it relates to leadership as well as diversity, equity and inclusion. As a keynote speaker and trainer, compassionate communication and leadership coach, international best-selling author and founder of the Compassion Code Academy, Laura equips conscious leaders with compassionate communication and coaching skills so they can lead from the heart without losing their authority, efficiency, or effectiveness. She provides in-depth training for individuals and organizations who want to create a culture of compassion and leave a legacy of love for future generations.

This episode delves deep and explores weighty topics such as grief, loss, and trauma - topics that make many of us uneasy, especially when wearing our leadership hats. We discuss some of the myths around grief and healing, and how we can show up for those in our lives who are struggling, whether in our teams, our families, or ourselves.

The Evolving World of Staffing and Recruitment with Erik Schwartz

We're joined by guest Erik Schwartz - CEO of PeopleSERVE, Inc., an IT placement firm, and Hirelytics, Inc.,  a recruitment analytics firm. Erik is passionate about leveraging technology to further diversity, equity and inclusion in the recruitment and hiring processes. He shares his professional insights with us, as well as his personal story of challenge and growth as an autistic leader and entrepreneur. This episode is both inspirational and practical. It is full of useful information about how teams and organizations can remove barriers between diverse talent pools and their employment opportunities, as well as the importance of Autism Acceptance and embracing the vibrant neurodiversity of our modern workforce. 

Adaptability with Coach Robbie Leigh

In this episode, a friend of Two Piers, Robbie Leigh, joins us. Robbie is an empowerment coach who helps introverted, highly sensitives own their strengths and step into their power. Together, we explore the concept of adaptability. This trait, so often revered as a strength and skill, can also present its challenges in terms of identity and sustainability. Join us to explore this fascinating concept and determine how you plan to engage with adaptability. 

Reflecting on Community and Women's History Month

It's that time of year! Women's History Month and International Women's Day are upon us. This episode, our founder and host, Erica, discusses the tension between image and impact as companies lean into Women's History Month marketing. She also discusses her personal reflections on female-centered community in light of a recent visit to Texas and the work that Two Piers has been doing. While this episode tackles some weighty systemic issues, it's also a candid and earnest account of the personal challenges, reflections and growth of our founder. 

The Success Wound with Brooke Taylor

This episode, we’re joined by Brooke Taylor, a Transformational Career Coach for female leaders, organizational consultant and speaker, and former Marketing Lead at Google.

Brooke discusses the phenomenon of the "Success Wound," a concept she identified and coined, which is the pain high-achievers experience when they mistake their success for their self-worth. We talk about what success means to us, how to recognize and heal the success wound, and how to live within our purpose and our passion. It’s a great episode filled with candor, humility and lots of incredible insights.

The Power of Journaling with GG Renee Hill

This episode, we're joined by author, creative coach and facilitator GG Renee Hill, who shares with us the power of journaling. In this conversation with GG, we explore how journaling can be incorporated into our lives and what types of benefits it brings, from self awareness to productivity to healing. This powerful practice can help us connect to our inner values, or navigate challenging situations. It can also help us develop our skills in communicating and relating to others.

Inclusion, Belonging and Safety Performance - with Dr Fawaz K Bitar

We're joined this episode by a distinguished guest and global expert: Senior Vice President Health, Safety, Environment & Carbon at bp, Dr Fawaz K Bitar, known to many as "Fuzzy." Together, we explore the supportive relationship between a culture of inclusion and belonging and safety performance.

Veterans Day with Colonel Angela Reber

This Friday, November 11th is Veterans Day in the United States. This national holiday honors those who have served in our country's armed forces, and was originally recognized in 1918 to mark the armistice that ended World War I. This year, we have Colonel Angela Reber joining us to discuss ways that organizations can support veterans who are transitioning into the civilian workforce, or who are currently part of the workforce.

Introverts, Extroverts and Ambiverts - Living and Working Together!

In this episode, host Erica D'Eramo, a self-proclaimed introvert, is joined by guests Maryellen Roberson and Melissa Olivadoti, an extrovert and ambivert, respectively. We discuss the definitions of these concepts, as well as what they mean to us in our daily lived experiences. We also touch on the value of self-awareness and the benefits and costs of flexing beyond your comfort zone, particularly for leaders with a diversity of energy types on their teams. We close the episode by busting some myths and providing some recommendations.

Books that we mention in this episode are "The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World" by Marti Olsen Laney Psy.D., and "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain.

The Summer Associate Episode

This week, we're joined by two of our summer associates, who discuss their experiences searching and applying for internships, as well as some of the pitfalls and challenges they've faced along the way. If you haven't applied for an internship lately, rest assured that the world has changed. Along with their personal experiences, we also discuss some of the common red flags to look out for when searching for summer work experience, as well as the broader implications for companies that require extensive experience of their internship applicants. This is a great episode for anyone who will be applying for internships, or whose college-aged children will be. It's also an informative discussion for anyone looking to offer college students summer experience.

Nontraditional Career Paths

This episode, we're joined by guest Jason Gray, an HR professional with a nontraditional career path. Not only is Jason the Director of HR at his company, he's also an avid poultry and bee keeper, and a fellow member of the LGBTQIA community, (not to mention a fellow Nittany Lion). In this episode, we discuss the importance of diversifying our sources of fulfillment and pursuing a variety of life experiences. We also explore the value in recruiting candidates with nontraditional career paths who bring additional perspectives and talent beyond the status quo, and how we can access these talent pools. This is an extra long episode with loads of great insights and lots of humor to boot!

Sources of Professional Support with Jada Harris

So, we'll be talking about some of the various sources of support out there for professional endeavors, kind of for personal support, the more formal types of support and some of the informal types. So that'll cover, you know, what each of them are, how they differ, what types of situations you might use for these various roles and the importance of having different people in each of these elements. We'll also talk about some of those alternatives to the formal sources of support. And we're looking forward to all of the insights that Jada has to lend. So, join us for the next episode of season three.

The ABCs of Diversity with Martine Kalaw

In this episode, we're joined by DEI thought leader and author Martine Kalaw. We dig deep into the work of diversity, equity and inclusion efforts and explore the criticality of this work for business sustainability. We also discuss what's worked and what hasn't in terms of diversity efforts, and how to equip managers with the key skills needed to embed sustainable strategy and process when pursuing DEI efforts. Join us for this engaging and explorative conversation about diversity, equity and inclusion.

The Stress Effect

Since 1992, April has been recognized as Stress Awareness Month. Chronic stress has been shown to negatively impact health in a multitude of ways, and enduring high levels of stress can decrease performance at both an individual and organizational level. Research also indicates that stress can impact historically marginalized communities in more extreme ways. In this podcast episode, we explore ways to recognize and address stress in both yourself and your team, and the importance of understanding how it manifests uniquely for each of us.

Transcript below:

Erica D'Eramo 0:07

Hello, and welcome to the Two Piers Podcast. I'm your host, Erica D'Eramo. Today we'll be discussing stress. So we'll explore stress from a personal and physiological standpoint, but also from an organizational standpoint. We'll discuss ways to recognize stress and ways to address it both for yourself and for your team. Thanks for joining us for this next episode of Season 3 of the Two Piers podcast.

For the past 30 years, April has been recognized as Stress Awareness Month. It's a time in which we can raise awareness about the health impacts of stress, and how it affects both ourselves and those around us. So I wanted to start this podcast out with a personal anecdote back from 2016. So at that time, I had just wrapped up a really high stress, high stakes job working offshore, rotating internationally kind of working on a boat. And I just started a sabbatical, I had just started this company Two Piers, I'd also just gotten married, we just had like a little ceremony with friends and family up in Massachusetts kind of signed the paperwork out in a park with a town clerk, you know, nothing exorbitant. But I was also combining households at the time, now that I wasn't working offshore, we decided to renovate my house while we lived in my partner's house. I also decided to apply for some grad schools to start my MBA and explore grad school programs. Meanwhile, I was in parallel organizing the big wedding celebration that we would be holding in Houston, where, you know, our friends would travel from around the country, and it would kind of be the big party. So, I was doing all this while self managing ADHD and thinking to myself, like, oh, this is the low stress part of my life. This is the part where I've left the high stress work environment behind and now I can just focus on some personal things for a little bit. Then, all of a sudden, I started seeing these symptoms of what looked like an allergic reaction, almost like I'd eaten something that I was allergic to. And we could not figure out the source. I talked to doctors, and we tried eliminating pretty much everything from my diet. They put me on some oral steroids, and yet I was still seeing these like big red blotches that would just come out of nowhere and it persisted. I tried antihistamines, I tried Benadryl, which is an antihistamine, but you know, these all have side effects. So the steroids can make you like a little edgy or cranky, they can cause like increased appetite, decreased metabolism, the Benadryl makes you sleepy and groggy. Just a whole cocktail of things that someone who is about to have to get in a little white dress does not, does not want to deal with. And I just felt increasingly helpless and frustrated. And then we like had no answers. So it just happened to be that in those days leading up to the wedding, I offhandedly mentioned to my OBGYN during my annual appointment that I was having these like, allergy symptoms, and we couldn't figure out what it was. I'd like gone to hypoallergenic everything. And I was essentially eating just like bowls of rice at that point. She laughed and was like, "Well, it's the stress silly." And I thought like, I'm not stressed.

There's no stress, like, what I'm not even like doing anything I'm, I'm, I'm not working offshore anymore. So this is like the low stress period. And she kind of like rattled off all the things that I was doing, these major life changes that I was tackling all at once. And I realized, like, oh, right, I am stressed. It's just a different type of stress. I was so just caught up in the sheer number of things I had to get done and just entirely focused on powering through that I really hadn't even considered the magnitude of what I was trying to accomplish. And it just didn't fit in my paradigm either of what I thought stress looked like. So instead of being in an environment where people could die if I made a mistake, or we were always on edge, and the hours were really long, and there were sleep deprivation, it was a different type of stress, but stress that I had gotten used to, in a way. And now I told myself, you know, I'm just like, I'm arranging Airbnb reservations for family members, and travel plans and catering reservations and this is easier stuff. But it wasn't, it wasn't easier stuff, there were lots of interpersonal interactions going on, there was a lot to juggle, there were a lot of disparate work streams happening with pretty high stakes. So, yeah, I finally realized what the source of this reaction was, and it was my own body kind of saying, like, timeout, stop, that's enough, you're not going to acknowledge the stress unless we do something that's unavoidably recognizable here, was like putting up a warning flare to say, like, cut it out, this isn't sustainable. And it did right before the big wedding event in an unavoidable way. So, it was clear, once it was clear what the source of the stress was, or what the source of the this reaction was, I was able to take measures to kind of intervene, and I was able to sort of delegate a lot of stuff and let go of some of the perfectionism around it, and just sit my butt down and do some meditation, which really, really helped. And so in those photos from that day, I managed to get into that little cream colored Diane Von Furstenberg dress after all, and there's no big red blotches in any other photos. But, I still look back on that and think, how unaware I was of my own stress levels, and whenever I start to feel stress kind of reaching those unsustainable levels in my life, I remember like there's a potential allergic reaction around the corner that might kick in, that I'll then have to deal with in parallel, when my body just says, nope.

So what's the point of this story? What's the learning that I want our listeners to take away? Well, there are a couple, one big piece of it is the connection between mind and body, they are in fact, one in the same. So our brain's primary function is actually to maintain what's called allostasis. And you might not have heard that word before. So that's the process in which a state of internal physiological equilibrium is maintained by an organism in response to actual or perceived environmental and psychological stressors. So Lisa Feldman Barrett explains this in actually both of her books that I've read, she might have more than two books, but the two that I've read are, How Emotions Are Made, which goes very much in depth around how our brains function and the connection between emotions and physiology. And then her other book, Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain, which is a very engaging and easily approachable book, so I highly recommend it. So she explains that the brain's primary function is not actually thinking, even though that's what we normally think of when we think of the brain. The brain's primary function is to keep you alive. So all of the signals that are transmitted, all of the chemicals that are released, the physiological changes that we then interpret as emotions, for example, my stomach feels queasy, and my blood pressure has gone up and I'm starting to sweat, therefore, this is stress. Those are the result of our brain trying to predict and prepare for whatever will keep us alive. And it does so by budgeting and then deploying the resources that we have. So the energy that we have from eating food, or the water that we have available, the hormones that we have available, but sometimes the perceived threats that we're physically prepared to tackle in that state of elevated stress, that like acute stress, are not the actual deadly threats that we think they are.

Instead, we end up with this chronic enduring stress, which ironically, does not help keep us alive. In fact, it shortens our lifespans. So stress is tied to myriad health conditions that can negatively impact not just our quality of life, but also the length of our life. So in that episode from 2016 that I just discussed, I had a case of acute stress that was layered on top of chronic stress and that manifested into a visible physical reaction. However much of the impact to our bodies and health are just not so easily recognized. But that doesn't mean they're not occurring and enduring. So according to the APA or the American Psychological Association, chronic stress can affect both our physical and psychological well being by causing a variety of problems including anxiety, insomnia, muscle pain, high blood pressure, and a weakened immune system, which you know, during a pandemic is certainly not what we want. So chronic stress, we know is tied to heart disease and even those that do not have heart disease can suffer a heart attack due to an acute bout of stress. So as we approached April this year, and I was thinking about all these amplifying stressors that play layering on top of each other, the incredible amount of stress that most people are managing just day to day already, plus we had a war kicking off in Europe, we had these terrible stories of pain and destruction and talk of nuclear war at play, COVID cases going up and down, surging, but certainly regulations are changing with mass mandates, and people are returning to the office and managing that in a new world of hybrid work or fully returned to work. And oh, April is tax season. So you know, that annual low stress time for everyone where they're getting all their stuff done. And you know, maybe you got your taxes done in January, but I don't know how many people were battling up to the last minute to get taxes done in April. So I'm sure it's just a coincidence that April was chosen as stress Awareness Month, but I certainly saw lots of seasonal stress. And the days are getting longer, which everyone tends to think of as a good thing. And I do think it's a good thing, I think seasonal affective disorder tends to hit people in the winter, when the days are short, we have a lack of sunlight, a lack of vitamin D. But as those days get longer, and our energy increases, sometimes that can lead to higher stress, it can actually lead to increased irritability for some folks and longer days and less sleep. So that light change in the positive direction, we should also be keeping an eye on.

So what can we do? I think we certainly can't change individually, we can't change outcomes of international diplomacy or stop a global pandemic. But one of the most important things we can do is to recognize the stress itself. So that was the other key element from my story from 2016 was this ability to recognize our own kind of tells or identify our own signals from ourselves or our bodies that we are under huge amounts of stress. So we all have different ways that stress will manifest and it could be behavior like biting your nails, or eating sugary foods, or it could be exhibited through poor sleep. Maybe when you're experiencing high stress, you end up doom scrolling on social media for extended periods of time.

So we can learn a lot about our current state by just stopping to take a quick inventory of our behaviors of our rhythms and the sensations and experiences that we're having within our bodies. That's something that we call interoception. So a key to this activity of like taking that inventory is at least, to the best of your ability, trying to leave behind the stories about how stressed you should be right now. So just like in my story, where I felt like, I should not be stressed right now, because I'm not doing the normal things that I would think would stress me out. These are fun things to be doing. You know, picking out tile for the kitchen renovation should be a fun activity. I had my own biases and stories around what stress should look like and that got in the way of me being able to recognize what was happening with myself. Even more recently, a few weeks ago, I realized that I was crying intermittently from things that normally wouldn't cause such a reaction. And that's pretty unusual for me. And then it dawned on me that I was managing a massive amount of stress, coming up on the end of one cue, lots of due dates and deadlines and a lot of different responsibilities in different parts of my life that we're all just kind of landing at the same time. In a moment, I remember thinking, but I don't have anything to be stressed about. And just saying the words out loud, like, I think I've reached my full capacity and I'm approaching burnout was hugely impactful for me.

So being able to stop taking inventory, and just recognize what is versus what should be, can be really helpful in at least understanding where we're at on that scale of stress. And when we've moved from sort of peak operating for intermittent stress into the enduring chronic stress that is now reducing our quality of life and reducing our quality of work and having negative impacts. So while you know coming to that realization is not a cure in and of itself, it is the key to be able to make a change. So that's the key empowering information to be able to then make changes in your life and not just continue with the status quo. So you can start to monitor for when those sorts of, I'll call it a tell, those tells arise, even just when your pace quickens or you can feel your blood pressure increase, and I mentioned interoception. So that's when we are aware of the feelings within our body, and a lot of times yoga practitioners will discuss interoception, but it's being able to understand the small changes in your own physiology that normally you're not even thinking about. Once you can pick up on that, then you can make those adjustments and adjustments can take a wide range of forms. So it might be physical, you might notice that you're feeling elevated stress and you wanna go get some fresh air or go take a walk, maybe play fetch with your puppy, that's a great stress reliever. Or you know, play with your cat. Pets are huge stress relievers, when they're not stressed inducers at three o'clock in the morning. But you can also make environmental changes. So you can increase how much full spectrum light that you have in your workspace, you can put your noise cancelling headphones in and add some uplifting music, if you work better with music. Music and rhythm can be huge stress reducers. Maybe dancing is the way that you can reduce stress. It can also be psychological, we can reframe our situations and maybe understand the true likelihood of negative outcomes. So that threat that we're perceiving that's causing that fight or flight mechanism to kick in, what's the real likelihood that something bad will happen? And what does that really look like? That can take some of the weight out of it. Or perhaps, we stopped trying to control an outcome that isn't ours to control so that you know, there's mechanisms in the reframing that we can use. That's something that we do a lot in coaching is we can reframe things and understand what the true root source of the stressor is, and then how we want to understand it going forward.

But we can also make some big changes. If chronic stress is something that has been a battle for months or years, then it could be that you can say no to big projects, you know, no new projects, I'm already at capacity or no to people. And surrounding yourself with people who understand that and are okay with that can really improve our quality of life. And sometimes it's at a point where we understand that it's time to leave a job or a relationship that's no longer serving us and is the source of our chronic stress. And I recognize that's not always possible. That requires resources, privilege, etc. But a first step is even recognizing where the source of our chronic stress is coming from and what the impact is to our longer term lifespan and quality of life. So another thing to keep in mind, as we look at how we react and respond to stress is that our stress patterns can really be shaped by our past experiences, especially when those include trauma. So in their book What Happened to You?, Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey, do a great job of exploring stress patterns and stress response. I listened to that book on Audible and I thought it was wonderful to hear the discussion back and forth. They provide a PDF that has diagrams to walk through it, but I also think the paperback could be another great resource. So they discussed how individuals who have experienced unpredictable, extreme and or prolonged stress, particularly in their developmental years, may also experience sensitized stress responses. So that means that they're fight, flight or freeze reaction is just triggered more quickly. So if we think of like a curve, it looks more like a logarithmic curve that rises fast and then plateaus versus a linear curve, that's like a straight line in a upward direction. So this type of response, one point was the body's way of keeping that individual safe in the face of unpredictable danger. But it's not so easily turned off when it starts kicking in prematurely or causes a stress response that's no longer appropriate or helpful for us. So we see similar impacts with PTSD. And Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, actually explores this extensively in his book, The Body Keeps the Score. And I mentioned this because it can be really helpful to work with a trained certified therapist to address any past trauma that is negatively impacting how we experience and process stress in our day to day lives. That's not for everybody, not everyone is experiencing those sensitized stress responses due to trauma. But if you are, then definitely there is work to be done that a therapist can help with.

So we've talked about this from a personal perspective, but how about from an organizational perspective. Staying tuned into the stress levels of your team and your employees is critical, but we have to remember that each of us will exhibit and manage stress in our own unique way. So, if you as a team manager are an extrovert, and you think that the way for the group to blow off steam after a big deliverable is to have an off site or like a Zoom happy hour, you'll just need to be mindful that any introverts on your team are probably under increased stress due to that activity, and it's adding about a massive stressor instead of alleviating stress. Similarly, for the extroverts on the team, if they've been working from home extensively for enduring periods of time, that could be leading to feelings of isolation, and thus increased stress. So many times the narratives and myths we have around the value of the grind or toughing it out or putting in the elbow grease, they can actually do a disservice to us in recognizing and addressing stress. And yet, we know that chronic stress levels lead to decreased productivity, difficulty concentrating, increased interpersonal conflict and tension. And then, oversights and mistakes. So while we might mythologize and kind of hold up the grind and putting in the long hours as being somehow like, emblematic of a good worker, it can cloud our vision with recognizing stress and performance on the team. So allowing the stress to then continue to the point of burnout just results in more like days away from work cases, more medical leave higher turnover. And none of that is good for the bottom line. None of that is good for team cohesiveness or for furthering the mission of your organization.

And we also know that members of marginalized and underrepresented groups may not just experience additional higher levels of chronic and acute stress, but they also might have less leeway in addressing that stress in the workplace or showing vulnerability because they're facing biases and stereotypes that will limit the ways in which they feel they can talk about that stress or voice those concerns or be vulnerable. So getting to know each member of your team as an individual and establishing psychological safety and understanding how they cope with and manage stress are all critical leadership skills and frankly responsibilities of any leader. That doesn't mean that we need to entirely change the way the team works for each and every individual but, being able to treat everyone in the way that they will operate best will inherently be better for the team.

So if you are looking for support in dealing with a stressful work environment, or if you want to learn more about establishing healthy work practices in your team, you can get in touch with us at twopiersconsulting.com and you can schedule a free consultation and we'll talk about how we can help you. Our coaches and consultants are here to help you on an individual level and on an organizational level to help you thrive. We look forward to seeing you on the next episode of the Two Piers Podcast.