This month’s theme has been all about creating space. With summer coming to an end and fall activities ramping up, a lot of us are finding our calendars oversubscribed and our energy reserves depleted. September seems to be a prime month for launching programs, starting initiatives and making commitments. Everyone is back from summer holidays and travel, refreshed and ready to go, right? …Right?!
Despite the break you may or may not have taken during the summer months, many folks are actually feeling quite burnt out. Perhaps literally and figuratively, considering much of the US and Europe is seeing record levels of heat and drought while others are experiencing wildfires and hurricanes.
So as you look over your packed calendar and exhausting to-do list, how do you protect the precious space that you have, and perhaps create even more?
Well, first of all, I want to reframe the way we think of “space.” When we talk about rest, or free time, or relaxation, we are usually thinking in terms of the absence of activity, or an empty span of time. In reality, the inverse of “productive” output time is not emptiness or void, but rather input time. Perhaps your input time looks like yoga or golf or pickleball 🏓. Maybe it looks like cat memes or video games or reading romance novels 📖. It could even look like staring at a wall, gazing into space, or daydreaming 🧘.
By understanding these activities as input time as opposed to “downtime” we can be more intentional about how we prioritize them. They are not a necessary evil to ward off burnout. They are a complementary and natural part of our life’s ecosystem - quite literally the yin to our yang ☯️.
So now that we’ve reframed how we look at this supposed “space” we can take a step back and look at the entirety of what we are trying to do. This involves getting very clear on what outcomes we want. When I talk about outcomes, I don’t really mean “get the promotion” or “get my kids to all their sports practices on time.” I mean, what is the life you are trying to live? What impact do you want to have on the world and those around you, and what experience do you want to have during your time here? These are some pretty big questions. And until they’re answered, it’s pretty difficult to see what role each of these competing commitments has in your journey.
So here’s a quick (ok, not-really-so-quick) exercise that you can use to reclaim some space in your world:
First, write down what it is that you really want, and be honest with yourself. Is it financial security? Is it prestige? Is it power or fame or legacy? Maybe it’s peace or happiness or community.
Think about what would indicate you’ve achieved this. What’s the “Key Performance Indicator” that signals happiness? When we lack any sort of measure, it can set us up to endlessly pursue a phantom goal, (see: being rich).
Now do a full accounting of all of the things you’ve got on your plate. If you’re in a caretaker position then this likely includes multiple plates balanced on a platter.
As you go through this list and look at each line item, can you connect it to the outcomes you described above? How impactful is it? How aligned is it with your values?
Now, for each one, visualize what would happen if you just stopped. (Yeah, yeah. The world would end, I know).
Finished catastrophizing? Ok - now get honest with yourself about the most likely outcome if you just stopped doing some of the things on your list. Some of these scenarios are definitely very bad - if you stop feeding your kids, you are in extremely big trouble. If you stop going to work, your financial security will be in peril. But many of the seemingly obligatory things in our lives go unquestioned. (You do not need to read that book club book that you don’t like - I give you permission to leave it partially read and never look back).
Where is there extra work happening? Can anything be consolidated, shared, reduced or distributed? (Carpooling is an excellent example of this).
Now that you’ve understood what each of these commitments is contributing to you, and what the implications would be of extricating from it, you can start looking for areas to reclaim space and redistribute your energy. Maybe some of your commitments go under an evaluative period where they prove themselves worthwhile or they get shelved. Maybe some go on a back burner, to be revisited during retirement. Either way, you’re positioned to make informed and value-driven choice.
By being intentional about how we spent our energy, we are less likely to find ourselves reaching a point of unsustainability where we either drop the ball or walk away in frustration. Sometimes, the biggest impact that this exercise can have is providing reassurance that we are doing the things we want to do. There’s a lot of peace that can come with realizing our own agency and power in the decisions we’re making.
If you want to explore how to create more space or peace in your life, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. We’re here to support 🙌