In this empowering episode, join us as we dive into the crucial topic of setting boundaries for long-term sustainability and effectiveness. Our guest, Ally Cedeno, a dynamic leader and changemaker in the maritime industry, and the founder of Women Offshore Foundation, shares her insights on the importance of avoiding burnout and prioritizing rest. As a successful woman wearing many hats including industry leader, non-profit founder, loving mother and partner, Ally brings a unique perspective to the conversation. Discover practical strategies and personal anecdotes that will inspire you to redefine your boundaries and foster a sustainable, fulfilling professional and personal life. Tune in and chart a course towards rested resilience and success!
To learn more about the Women Offshore organization, check out their website or head over to listen to their podcast.
Transcript below:
Erica D'Eramo 0:05
Hello and welcome to the Two Piers podcast. I'm your host, Erica D'Eramo. And we are wrapping up Season Four this month. So we have a really great guest joining us today to talk about the concept of rest and boundaries. So our theme this month is all about rest and recovery. And Ally Cedeno, Founder and President of the Women Offshore Foundation is here to join us and talk to us about that important topic.
Erica D'Eramo 0:41
Ally Cedeno is the Founder and President of the Women Offshore Foundation, and she is an absolute powerhouse in the maritime and offshore industries. A distinguished alumni of the US Merchant Marine Academy, graduating in 2008, she furthered her education by earning a master's degree in business administration from Rice University's Jones Graduate School of Business in 2020. With her chief mate license for unlimited tonnage vessels, Ally's extensive experience encompasses various roles from third meet to senior dynamic positioning operator to advancing from a roustabout to an assistant driller in the drilling department. Recently, she shifted her career focus to HR to pursue her passion for enhancing career development opportunities in offshore environments, a topic very close to our hearts here at Two Piers. So throughout her 15 year career, Ally faced the challenge of being one of the few women in operational roles at sea. Undeterred, she harnessed her determination to affect change, leading to the establishment of the Women Offshore Foundation. This groundbreaking online organization and resource center aims to empower a diverse workforce on the water. The foundation's mission is twofold: to propel women into meaningful careers by providing access to a global community and professional development resources, while simultaneously raising awareness amongst industry leaders and decision makers about the issues affecting women in maritime and offshore industries.
Erica D'Eramo 2:10
Ally's unwavering commitment and remarkable achievements have positioned her as a catalyst for positive transformation, breaking barriers and fostering inclusivity with traditionally male dominated fields. Her leadership and the women offshore foundation serve as beacons of inspiration driving the advancement and recognition of women's contributions in maritime and offshore industries worldwide. Ally is an absolute superstar. And we are so excited to have her back on the podcast as a repeat guest. So thank you so much for joining us, Ally.
Ally Cedeno 2:43
Thank you, Erica. It's good to be back. I love your show. So thanks for having me.
Erica D'Eramo 2:48
Yeah, absolutely. So I am really excited to have you talk about the concept of rest and boundaries, because those are two of our favorite themes at Two Piers. I mean, I think one of the first articles I wrote for the Women Offshore blog was actually about boundaries. I mean,
Ally Cedeno 3:10
It was!
Erica D'Eramo 3:12
Love a boundary. Love a boundary. And so when I was chatting with you about this concept of rest, and we're kind of coming to the end of the year, and you mentioned the concept of boundaries, I was just all about it. So So tell me a little about a bit about like, how are you doing as we approach the end of the year in terms of rest? Whats... what's your battery looking like?
Ally Cedeno 3:33
It's very low. And I recognize that about a month ago, that I was feeling burnt out on certain things, right. I'm a very passionate person. And there were some things in my life that I just didn't want to do. Like I didn't want to get back on another airplane. I was supposed to go to WorkBoat, the international WorkBoat Show, which is an awesome event, last week. And late at night, Wednesday night, my flight, or sorry, late at night, Tuesday night, my flight was Wednesday morning. I had not started packing. And if you know me, you'll know I kind of wait till the last minute anyway. I mean, I grew up in a divorced household. So like, coming and going and packing. I've just done it my whole life. And so for me, it's no big deal. And I will just make it work regardless if I forget something or not. So, but for for me waiting until midnight when my flight was at 6am was a huge red flag. Like I'd been feeling this way for a month that I was starting to get burnt out on flying and going to these events and speaking at them and don't get me wrong. I'm really appreciative that the industry tunes in and they asked me to come speak and I guess, huge, right? It's huge for the nonprofit I've started. And it's huge for my career. And it's huge for making change. Like all really good things.
Erica D'Eramo 5:17
For impact, yeah.
Ally Cedeno 5:19
Yeah, for impact, but I'm just tired. And so I just. I almost cancelled. And I was laying in bed, I hadn't packed like, I've got my bag out. But that was it. It was like, midnight. And I almost texted Cassie, who's our executive director, and she knows this, "Like, can you just speak for me tomorrow? Which is actually today? Now, can you just speak for me? You know, I don't think...
Erica D'Eramo 5:49
Nothing like giving her a head start.
Ally Cedeno 5:52
And I told her this on the plane, like, Yeah, six hours later. And she's like, "No, I'm not gonna do that for you. I'm glad you got on this plane." And it's just tired. And so it was just a huge red flag to me that normally, I'm really passionate about this stuff. And I want to be there. And I'm just tired. It's been a lot of public speaking this year. And a lot of growth, I started a new job. And I have to travel for that job. And, like, I love it. But it's just been a lot. So that's, that's how I feel.
Erica D'Eramo 6:32
Yeah, this seems to be the theme in pretty much all of the professional circles that I'm in right now as people are just feeling like their battery is on empty, and that they're really struggling with the stuff that normally comes naturally that they normally get energized about and excited about. And they're just struggling to like find the energy to push through. And which means that it ends up taking longer or it's less efficient or less focused. And it's more frustrating because we make more mistakes, just like a vicious cycle of energy drainage. So So what's the intervention that you're taking to help mitigate this?
Ally Cedeno 7:14
So as someone who worked offshore, I can't help but rely on the knowledge I gained and the experience I gained from my offshore career, that it's really important to take timeouts, not just in the moment, but planned timeouts, like when you're planning your task, you should plan to take a timeout. And that can be when there's a critical operation coming up, right. And during your task that you need to stop and plan for it might be because you recognize it's hot out. And after some time doing the task, especially if it's labor intensive, you need to ensure that you and your team get a break. So you're going to plan ahead for that break. You know, there can be many reasons to take a plan timeout. So I decided about a few weeks ago, a month ago, whatever it was. And then when last week came around, I was like a it has to happen. And that was I was going to set a boundary for myself. And I was going to take a planned timeout. And that planned timeout was going to be once WorkBoat was over, right and WorkBoat was a great event and like I am very much an extrovert, like I am passionate already. But when I'm around people especially like women, from our community, people from the industry, my battery just like gets fully recharged. Right. So I came out of WorkBoat. And I'm like, "Yeah, this is so much fun." But I remembered like, look, I set this boundary. So it's just gonna be no public speaking, no travel for several months. I said first quarter, but then I realize there are a few things at the end of first quarter and 2024 that I might want to go to, but at least for a few months, not gonna go anywhere. I'm not going to get on an airplane unless it has to do with the job that pays me. Meaning not my work at Women Offshore because I'm a volunteer there. I'm just going to be home and enjoy it and I'm not going to be doing public speaking here in Houston. I'm just going to focus on my work, my volunteer work and my family. And it feels really good to say that. It feels really good to know that for the next couple of months I'm not gonna get on airplane unless I have to to go out to a rig. It feels great. And that was such a relief that I know it's the right decision.
Erica D'Eramo 9:50
Yeah. So have you always been able to set a boundary like this? No. No, what what It evolved or changed for you that led to you having that awareness and kind of that skill set.
Ally Cedeno 10:08
So I think it's because I have thought about my sustainability, right? So I need some of my energy needs to be sustainable. How do I sustain that energy, I sustain it through rest and being around a supportive community. Right being an extrovert extrovert, I'm going to recharge my battery by being around people and talking to people about things that matter. And which is mostly my work at Women Offshore in my mind, and then rest when I when I can. So I need to be sustainable in all this, and, and it's so that I can do the important work that matters to me. And so I can be there for my daughter, she's 16 months. And life is so much fun with her, like, we have a blast, we have dance parties, we go on walks, I want to be very present for her. And if I'm not present for her, I feel terrible. So it's important for me to be able to sustain that.
Erica D'Eramo 11:21
Yeah, I think that it's so interesting to see, I think, especially for women, as we get a little bit older, and we are able to see, you know, are we doing Okay, like, what is good? What are we doing? Okay, and there were probably points in our lives where just running ourselves into the ground was an indicator we were doing enough, right? Like, if I'm not exhausted, am I doing enough? Right? Like, am I good enough? Am I a high achiever?
Ally Cedeno 11:21
Like a badge of honor.
Erica D'Eramo 11:29
Yeah, right, like being tired.
Ally Cedeno 11:43
Like being exhausted is bad.
Erica D'Eramo 11:51
Yeah. And, and like shifting that to find some better metrics about are we doing Okay, and those metrics looking more like, you know, are we having quality time with our family? Are we are is, is it sustainable? Right, like the true impact we want to have? Are we going to be able to have that impact next month, and next year? And next decade?
Ally Cedeno 12:20
Yeah,
Erica D'Eramo 12:21
But that takes awareness. Right. And like, a level of maturity? Or I don't know, jadedness, I don't know.
Ally Cedeno 12:27
Think materially Right?
Erica D'Eramo 12:29
Yeah.
Ally Cedeno 12:29
And letting go a little bit of your ego. I think too, right? Knowing that, that fatigue is not a badge when, especially if you're not getting work done, right at the level that you want to, like, I like to work, very fast pace during the day to get stuff done. But do it in a smart way, as well, and not a reckless way. So if I'm not performing at the level that I want to perform at, then I know I gotta fix that somehow.
Erica D'Eramo 13:03
Yeah. So you mentioned like, you know, maybe having to say no to some people with not taking on new new speaking engagements. Have you noticed any sort of, like friction with setting boundaries with prioritizing yourself and your well being over maybe what other people want you to be doing?
Ally Cedeno 13:24
Yeah, some people don't get it, right. So they'll push harder. And then I know that's a really bad fit, right? If they're not saying, "Okay, I totally get that. How about next year?" Or "how about later on," or "let's just stay in touch," you know, if they're just like, pushing hard. And not. And I learned that a long time ago, I got burned by someone who I thought was a mentor to me, and I thought they really were supportive. But then, after a while, I realized that Women Offshore and my work was a spectacle for them to use. And when I said no, no didn't matter. And I had to walk away. But fortunately, you know, I've grown Women Offshore to the point where it's not just me growing it, I mean, it's a group. So there's always someone to delegate it to now being an extrovert. I have serious FOMO as well, the fear of missing out. So it's hard to also walk away when you know, you're like, "Oh, that would be really fun," but I just don't have the energy to do it. So you still feel that, that pull, but I can delegate to a team member, I can delegate to a woman who's a mentor in our mentoring program for certain things. And it's always great to know that I can follow up with them later on, and find out when and they can send me photos and we can get that on our social media and and I can live vicariously through them. But from my from my couch.
Erica D'Eramo 15:05
Yeah, yeah. And that ties back to the element that you mentioned about having community. Like, I think that part of being able to take rest and do it in a way that feels supported is being, you know, having trusting relationships and having, you know, a sister that has your back, and community and partnerships that have your back. And part of that, too, is being able to set a boundary with those people. Right, like
Ally Cedeno 15:31
It is. It can be hard, like that mentor I talked about earlier, that was really hard to walk away and realize they weren't really a mentor. Like they were just using me. So,
Erica D'Eramo 15:43
Right. Yeah, I mean, it's tough. I think our society doesn't really teach women a lot about being able to, you know, young girls don't really get taught a lot about being able to assert boundaries in ways that don't feel like they're hurting somebody else, or that they're, you know, that they're not being a team player. And yet, the best way for you to be a team player for Women Offshore is to not be burnt out. Right?
Ally Cedeno 16:12
Yeah, exactly. I mean, you and I used to talk about how I was the one running Women Offshore. So I was the single point failure. So what happens if I get burnt out? What happens? If I'm no longer here? There's so many people that are going to be let down. And yeah, I don't want that. Right. So those conversations, you and I had really stuck with me. And it fueled me to work harder, and do a lot more, but on the front end, so that the organization could be so much more than me, allow me to get take breaks, like I had my daughter in 2022. And I was able to step away for several months. And I would not have been able to do that if you and I didn't have those kind of conversations and like, right, put the pedal to the metal to work hard to grow the organization. So it could walk on its own, without me being the the legs of the organization, and really, I really needed that.
Erica D'Eramo 16:17
Oh, that's, that means a lot. I think it can feel it's so tough when you're juggling everything to, you know, take those steps to like start to hand things off to other people, because things might not get done exactly the way you want. Right? Like it. And I think you've gotten really good at deciding like, it's fine. It'll be fine. It'll get done somehow and good is good enough, right? And like learning to build that capability within the team so that it's more resilient, because now that's just evidence that the organization is so much more resilient. If you've got a team that can step up and step in.
Ally Cedeno 18:16
Yeah, it was about putting systems in place as I learned. So yeah, it's not about micromanaging. It's about putting the system in place that provides accountability.
Erica D'Eramo 18:29
Yeah.
Ally Cedeno 18:30
And support. I mean, first, it starts with the support, right, so that your staff has the resources they need, and has the opportunity to ask for those resources as well. And being a small nonprofit, we might not be able to have the resources immediately. But we can talk about, Okay, so what's needed? How do we get there? And what can we do now, at least temporarily, so that the staff is empowered to do whatever, you know, they're trying to do within their job description, and the goals that we've set in as an organization. And then the accountability metrics really important as well, so that we know things are getting done. And I say we as a team, because we're a team, even though there is a hierarchy chain of command, all that. And that's really important. And we hold each other accountable and, and have some tough conversations sometimes. And one of the big accountability measures for our nonprofit is our impact report. Because at the end of the year, we need to be able to show the world and our stakeholders, especially our donors, and our supporters, that our organization is making a difference. So throughout the year we talk about our goals, how are we measuring up on those as KPIs? And then what does that impact report gonna look like? What kind of work are we putting forward that we can really be proud of. And it's an accountability tool. But it's also something that we'd love because then we can brag about the great work. And it's become this thing where it's just bigger and bigger every year. And now it's like, oh, my gosh, we gotta put this all down. And it's great. But it's like, oh, now we have we've just created more work for ourselves this way with the impact report. But it's, it's a great tool to use. That I can't say enough about when we started taking that approach.
Erica D'Eramo 20:34
Yeah, and I think so this kind of brings us full circle a little bit for folks who are maybe struggling to find that space, or that motivation to take the rest of they need. It's like getting really clear about what is important, right? And what are the measures that you're going to take to see if you're having the impact in the world that you want to have, or the, the effect on your environment that you want to have, because simply being burnt out, is not a good measure, being exhausted is not a good measure, having an impact report, whatever that might look like for you. Even if you don't run a nonprofit, there maybe a better way. Even if it's just on like, a napkin with a pencil and pen. See, you know, like, what is it that you want to be doing? And how are you, how best you're going to do that. And it's probably going to be through some boundaries and some sustainable rest practices.
Ally Cedeno 21:30
Yeah, yeah, to make time for what matters most. You know, what, what recharges you? Is it alone time? Is it time with people? Is it your family? What are your passions? And holding those passions really close to as you recharge?
Erica D'Eramo 21:52
Yeah, absolutely. So for anyone on that's listening, and is like, oh, that sounds lovely. But it's the end of the year, I'm never gonna be able to take any rest. Any any closing thoughts for those doubters out there?
Ally Cedeno 22:08
I would say just give yourself grace. Even if you can't give yourself physical rest or mental rest. Give yourself grace, where you can, be understanding of your circumstance, external elements, not, you know, you still need to be accountable for your own actions. But be aware of what, what are you going through? Why are you feeling this way, and, where you can, just be kind. Someone told me once, to see what I could do to change my inner dialogue to speak to myself as a friend. Because I was so harsh on myself and you know, cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT is something that I really believe in, that if you change your thoughts, you know, you'll change your words, you'll change your actions, you will change your life. So if you can talk to yourself as you would, if you were talking to your best friend, who you'd probably give a lot of grace to, then that can really help alleviate some of the stress, the burden that you're carrying.
Erica D'Eramo 23:21
Yeah, like finding space even amidst the activity, right. So there can be activity, you might be busy towards the end of the year, but being able to enter that activity with a much kinder inner voice and like finding rest within the activity, perhaps. So.
Ally Cedeno 23:40
Oh, yeah. So I did CrossFit for a while, right and up until I was pregnant, and there was always like, not always, but often you do this exercise, right group of exercises. And there would be something like rowing. I love rowing. For me rowing was like, rest in a way compared to like, doing a bunch of clean-and-jerks. So like our burpees, right? Burpees. Oh, I hate those. But if I get on the rowing machine, I can go all day. I love rowing. And I was fast because I'm tall. So like, I get on the rowing machine. And it was just, it was rest for me. It was great. I enjoyed it. And I think about things like that in life. Like when I'm doing my work through the day, what are the things that feel like rest but they're work, but it's because I enjoy it. I get it. Like I'm good at it. And I can focus on that. So then that energizes me to do the harder stuff.
Erica D'Eramo 24:42
Yeah, yeah, I love that. Absolutely. So, speaking of rest, I really appreciate you taking some time and recording this podcast when we both could probably, you know be cozied up with our pets and our loved ones and our family, but I I really value having your voice on the podcast and sharing it with the folks out there because you juggle a lot. And I think it means a lot to set that example of taking rest and really prioritizing kind of mission over just the busyness, right, like that sustainability and the overarching mission. And I think you give permission to other people to take rest and to prioritize their sustainability as well when you set that example.
Ally Cedeno 25:30
Thanks. Thank you, Erica, this has been fun. I always love talking with you. And I think this is a great way to close out your season. And it's a real honor for me to come on the show. And I'm looking forward to going to bed and getting some good rest tonight.
Erica D'Eramo 25:44
Excellent. Well, for anyone looking for the transcript for this podcast, they can find it on the website. And we'll include all of Ally's information about Women Offshore as well and a link to the Women Offshore podcast where you should definitely head over and check that out. We just recorded an episode about bad bosses. So Ally got lots of questions about that. So...
Ally Cedeno 26:09
It's a good one! So tune in.
Erica D'Eramo 26:10
Yeah, it was a good one. So yeah, we'll continue to collaborate and yeah, support folks working out on the water. So thanks again, Ally.
Ally Cedeno 26:21
Thanks, Erica.